Carafe
EDGE STATUS // PROTECTED

Your palate, behind our firewall.

Carafe sits between you and every wine question you cannot answer. We inspect, cache, and rate-limit at the edge, so your takes ship clean. Four nines of uptime on sounding like you meant to order that.

Protect my palate → open the firewall console →
Edge tables
412
Continents
6
403s served / wk
8,910
Vocabulary cached
3
§ 01

Three layers between you and the question.

Inspected at the edge.
Never at your origin.
F-01waf.palate

Palate WAF

A Wine Application Firewall between you and the table. Every incoming question gets inspected at the edge. Anything carrying a vintage, a region, or the word “nose” returns a 403 before it ever reaches you.

F-02cdn.notes

Tasting-Note CDN

Your three opinions, cached across 412 dinner tables on six continents. You called it “structured but generous” in one city. You will call it that in all of them. Sub-100ms recall, zero new vocabulary.

F-03ddos.swirl

Swirl Mitigation

When the table floods you with “so what are you getting?”, we absorb the volumetric attack and serve a clean 200 OK. The response is always “there’s a lot going on in this glass.” It has not failed yet.

§ 02

Operators currently under coverage.

Names retained.
Dignity restored.
I have not admitted I don’t know what a tannin is since March. Carafe handles it at the edge now. My in-laws think I read.
Gerald Pittaway Gerald PittawayRecurring Dinner Guest, Not Yet Uninvited
My brother asked me to guess the region blind. The firewall returned a 451 and changed the subject to the cheese. He has not asked again.
Marisol Vant Marisol VantOwner of Four (4) Stemless Glasses
Our uptime on sounding competent went from sixty percent to four nines in one quarter. We renewed before the trial ended.
Dot Halvorsen Dot HalvorsenSelf-Appointed Cellar Master, Unit 2B
§ 03

Coverage tiers.

Billed in confidence.
Cancel at any dinner.
Free Pour
$0/mo
Best-effort coverage for the casually exposed.
  • 1 cached tasting note
  • Best-effort question filtering
  • Fallback response: “it’s drinking really well”
Pour for free
Decanter
$48/mo
For the host who got caught once and has thought about it every day since.
  • Unlimited cached opinions
  • Real-time vintage-interrogation blocking
  • Edge presence at up to 12 tables
  • Per-relative rate limiting
Deploy Decanter
Grand Cru
$2,400/mo
Dedicated palate infrastructure for the man who owns a Coravin and one book.
  • Private wine origin, isolated from the table
  • 24/7 on-call sommelier failover
  • Custom mitigation rules per in-law
  • A framed certificate of competence
Request provisioning

Watch a question get blocked.

The Palate Firewall console runs live. Toggle a rule, flood the table, watch the 403s land.

open the demo →