Murphy, live 100.0000

Know exactly how good a boy he is.

Tailmetry is a collar sensor that tracks tail RPM, Joy Load and stick throughput around the clock, then tells you, to four decimal places, that your golden retriever is fine.

Strap in a retriever Open the demo →
A golden retriever sitting in a dark studio, wearing a black Tailmetry collar sensor
Joy Load100 / 100
Heartfull
Strainchased a leaf
Murphy's numbers this morning, as of 7:42am. Yesterday's were the same.
100.0000Joy Load+0.0 ceiling
212rpmTail, rolling avg+0.0 ceiling
14sticksThroughput3 returned
0.4socksIngestedvet notified

Three sensors. One finding.

The pod weighs 11 grams and samples everything a retriever does. Our data science team has spent two years looking for a bad day. They are still looking.

Joy Load, measured continuously

Our proprietary score runs from 0 to 100. Across 41,000 hours of beta data it has read 100 every single time. The sensor works. We had it checked twice.

100 0 41,000 hrs, no dips

Tail RPM telemetry

Optical tail tracking at 240 samples per second. Peak recorded so far: 318 RPM, the moment a stranger in the park said "well, who's this."

Saturday, 9 to 11ampeak 318 rpm

Recovery coaching

Every morning Tailmetry builds a recovery plan from overnight data. Every morning the plan is a nap in a patch of sun. We call it personalized because, technically, it is.

Monday plansun nap, 3h
Tuesday plansun nap, 3h
Wednesday plansun nap, 3h 10m

Owners who now check eleven times a day

Collected from verified subscribers. Their dogs declined to comment and leaned on the interviewer.

Murphy, a cream golden retriever, in a formal studio portraitMurphy, 3100.0
"I bought it to find out if Murphy was happy. He is. I still check eleven times a day."
Dana OkaforDirector of Indirect Procurement, owner of one (1) golden
Sergeant Pepper, an older red golden retriever with a grey muzzle, in a formal studio portraitSergeant Pepper, 11100.0
"The sock-ingestion alert went off during my daughter's piano recital. It was right."
Lyle BrandtRegional VP of Compliance, Tri-County Hydraulics
Biscuit, a medium-gold golden retriever, in a formal studio portraitBiscuit, 5100.0
"Tailmetry put Biscuit in the 99.8th percentile for leaning on guests. We had the chart framed."
Priya VenkataramanSenior Product Manager, Payroll Integrations (EMEA)

Pick a plan. He'll be fine on any of them.

Every plan includes the collar pod, a charging dock he will try to eat, and the same reading.

Good Boy

For the casual retriever.

$14/mo
  • Daily Joy Load reading (it will be 100)
  • 7 days of Tail RPM history
  • One push notification a day confirming he is happy
Start with Good Boy

Very Good Boy

Our best-selling tier, mostly because of the name.

$39/mo
  • Unlimited history and raw CSV export
  • Neighborhood stick-throughput leaderboard
  • Weekly PDF report for a vet who did not ask for it
Start with Very Good Boy

Best Boy Enterprise

For households with four goldens, or one very serious one.

$1,200/mo
  • A dedicated Joy Analyst on call
  • SOC 2 compliant sock-ingestion alerts
  • Quarterly board meeting with your dog
Talk to a Joy Analyst

See Murphy's dashboard

Three dogs, live tail telemetry, a sock alert from this morning and a recalibrate button our engineers press when they feel uneasy.

Open the demo →