SIDE AT-120
Guaranteed viewership
Every Natter is watched by at least one human, start to finish. If your family doesn't get to it, Craig does. Craig is salaried, has logged 41,000 hours of footage and has opinions about your gutters.
PLAY SP
Say it once. At length.
Natter records your video message, uploads it overnight and tells you the moment somebody watched any of it. Usually that somebody is Craig. Craig is very attentive.
REC
CH 03
SP
0:47:12
Gutters, part 3 DO NOT RECORD OVER
What you get
Three features, built after interviewing 400 retirees for an average of 2 hours and 51 minutes each. We had scheduled 20 minutes.
SIDE AT-160
Forehead-first framing
Our model detects when most of the frame is forehead and labels it Portrait Mode. Recordings made upside down are tagged Artistic. Recordings of the ceiling fan are tagged Ambient. Nothing is ever deleted.
SIDE BEP
Automatic chapters
A 53-minute message is split into chapters for the viewer's convenience: Hello, The weather, Your cousin Dale, The weather (cont.), Is this on. Recipients can skip to the end, which is also Is this on.
38:41Median message length. Industry median is 1:52. We consider this a lead.
0:04Median family watch time. Craig's median is the whole thing.
1 CraigFull-time staff viewer. Hiring a second is on the roadmap for Q3.
From the users
Lightly edited for length. The originals average 26 minutes.
"I sent my son 211 messages last year. Craig watched every one and gave a thumbs-up on the one about the furnace. That's more than I got out of the furnace man."
Harold BenkeRetired Elevator Inspector, Toledo. Three grandchildren, all on mute.
"The chapters told me I said 'anyway' 340 times in one video. I've got it down to 290. I'm aiming for the low 200s by spring."
"My granddaughter says she watches them at double speed. Natter says she watched for four seconds. We both feel heard."
Pricing
Billed monthly. Cancel any time by recording a video about it. Craig will process it.
Answering Machine
$0/mo
For occasional updates about the hedge.
- Messages up to 90 minutes
- Read receipts delayed 3 days so they feel natural
- One (1) Craig view per month
Long Distance
$14/mo
Most popular with people whose kids moved to Denver.
- Unlimited message length
- Craig watches within 24 hours
- Nudge button, polite then firm
- Chapter titles you can rename yourself
Party Line
$49/mo
For the household with a standing opinion on everything.
- Craig watches live and nods
- A second viewer, Denise, for tie-breaks
- Annual DVD box set of everything you said
- Priority forehead detection
Somebody is going to watch this.
Possibly your son. Definitely Craig. Set up takes four minutes, or about forty if you explain what you're doing to the camera while you do it.