Stevedore Verify your Steve

We already wrote your name on the cup.

Stevedore is a coffee chain for one customer segment: guys named Steve. Every cup ships pre-printed. Every order is called once. Seven Steves answer, and we have a process for that.

Verify your Steve Open the demo →
A man in a navy fleece vest smiling at a kraft paper coffee cup at a cafe counter

Three operational fixes for one first name.

Every other coffee chain treats the name as a variable. We hard-coded it and spent the savings on process.

Pre-printed cups

Every cup leaves the factory reading STEVE in our house marker hand. Baristas no longer ask, spell, or guess. Bar throughput is up 41% since we removed the question.

Door-side Steve verification

Two forms of Steve ID at the threshold: a driver's licence and a coworker who can confirm it. Stephens are admitted under review. Stevens with an n are processed in the order received.

The Descriptor Engine

When we call Steve and nine men stand up, the Descriptor Engine gives each order a visible attribute at the till. Collisions are resolved in under four seconds, or eleven if two of them are wearing the same fleece.

Verified Steves, on the record.

Quotes collected at the condiment bar. One applicant is included for balance and has been told he is included for balance.

Steve OkaforSteve Okafor
"For eleven years I was Stove, Steph and once Sieve. Here they called me Steve before I opened my mouth. I sat in the car for a minute afterwards."
Regional Logistics Lead, Second Steve In His Office
Steve LindqvistSteve Lindqvist
"The Descriptor Engine assigned me Steve (Clearly Retired). It was right. I have upgraded to Prime so I can change it to Steve (Consultant)."
Former Orthodontist, Goes By Steve, Has Always Gone By Steve
Steven MarshSteven Marsh
"My application has been under review since March. The coffee in the waiting area is very good. I am told the Council meets in November."
Applicant, Spelled With A V, Status Pending

Membership, punched in advance.

All tiers include coffee at normal prices. You are paying for the name to be handled correctly, which is the expensive part.

Steve

$0/mo

You pay for coffee like a normal person.

  • Standard pre-printed cup
  • One descriptor, assigned by staff
  • Called in the general Steve pool
Join the pool
most Steves

Steve Prime

$14/mo

For the Steve who is tired of being Steve (Grey Fleece).

  • Choose your own descriptor, subject to approval
  • Priority call, said slightly louder
  • Cup spelled Stephen on request, at your own risk
Go Prime

Steve Council

$2,400/yr

A vote on who else gets to be Steve.

  • Seat at the quarterly Steve AGM
  • Binding vote on the Stephen admissions backlog
  • Your descriptor retired when you leave, like a jersey
Apply for a seat

Membership requires the legal first name Steve, Steven or Stephen. Stevie is assessed case by case. Esteban has written to us twice and we respect that.

Watch nine men stand up at once.

The barista console runs the 8:40am rush: nine orders, one name, and the Descriptor Engine keeping them apart.

Open the demo →